Why Men Aren’t Signing Up for Singles Events—and Prefer Dating Apps Instead

A recent article by Olivia Petter, "Men aren’t signing up to singles nights – I launched my own and found out why" in The Independent raises a fascinating reality about modern dating: while singles nights and in-person events have become more popular with women, many men still prefer to stay on dating apps instead of showing up to real-world social events. This isn’t about blame, it’s about understanding how different environments shape people’s comfort zones and motivations.

Dating apps have undeniably changed how we meet one another. They offer convenience, endless choice, and interaction without commitment but they also foster a cycle of scrolling, swiping, and resistance to vulnerability. In many cases, that means conversations happen more in profiles and thumb swipes than in rooms full of actual human beings.

At updateme, we believe the future of meaningful connection lies off the app and in real life. 

Our mission isn’t simply to compete with dating apps: it’s to push past their limitations and give people experiences that feel human again.

Instead of pixels and profiles, we focus on real conversations, shared moments, and the kind of presence that only happens face to face.

That’s why we host fun, intentional singles nights and curated date experiences. Every event is thoughtfully designed to encourage genuine interaction — not forced small talk, but real connection. We vet registrations to create balanced attendee lists and ensure everyone has a chance to meet a variety of people. We also pay close attention to gender distribution so that events feel comfortable, energizing, and inclusive from start to finish.

Where many dating apps can lead to burnout, superficiality, and endless waiting for the “perfect match,” updateme moves people into reality. We help people take the next step: from chatting online to actually showing up, smiling across the room, and discovering connection in real time.

Rather than offering swipes and endless scrolling, we offer curated opportunities and experiences that encourage people to meet, talk, and connect with intention.

If the issue isn’t a lack of interest in connection, but rather a reluctance to step into the unknown and that’s something we’re actively changing. With every event we host and every curated date we arrange, we’re reminding people that real dating still exists... and it’s waiting just off the screen.

If you're interested in coming to updateme's singles events with curated experiences, sign up here: www.updateme.com

Get priority access to updateme's events and a chance to win a free all-expenses paid date!